It should be no surprise to anyone that detailers are full of shit and love to lie through their fucking teeth.
Let it be known, however, that it doesn't matter how limited your options are as time goes on. It doesn't matter how many favors you've collected. It doesn't even matter how hard you work or the sacrifices you've made to get to this point.
Your detailer will fuck you up the ass. It's part of their nature. It's how they roll. In fact, detailers should totally write up a Bhagavad Gita specific to Navy life. Oh wait! Allow me!
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| Yo, Krishna! What up? |
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| So...about the deception. I know I'm a detailer, but will all these lies mean I burn in a fiery pit of sulfurous doom? |
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| Naw, man. You're a detailer. Detailers lie. It's in your nature, bro. |
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| But they're lies, man. I'm fucking up some people's chi here. Lies are bad, right? |
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| Naw, man. Like warriors fight and kill, detailers lie, inveigle, and obfuscate. It's your job. Do it well, cos if you don't, you'll burn in a fiery pit of sulfurous doom. |
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| Shit, man. So if I have to be a detailer, kick some fucking detailer ass? |
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| You got it, player. |
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| And when you're done with your detailer life, you get all the gopi ass you can handle. Cows are awesome, but gopis FTW! |
You're welcome, detailers! You're welcome, Navy. Now allow me to return the amazeballs favor of getting fucked up the ass with no reach around.
6 comments:
Just randomly found your blog, but omg. I agree so much.
My fiance was up for starting his 3 years of shore duty reenlistment and the detailer said "no shore duty. Ship in San diego or japan, you pick"
After weeks of arguing, ship in san diego it was.
He's now on his 4th deployment...
The way the Navy does its families when it's PCS time is the one of the biggest reasons I think Navy families have it really hard, probably harder than most other branches.
That said, your story board was amazing.
Elizabeth - I'm sorry your fiance was caught in the same ocean of bullshit as everyone else. I seriously think enlisted get shit on even more than commissioned. The stories I hear... One friend of ours, in 22 years in the Navy, had ONE shore tour and had done a double-digit number of deployments. This was extreme but not *that* extreme.
WW - I hear shitty stories about Branch Managers screwing over their peeps, too. I think maybe one of the big differences is that the bait and switch tactic is almost a given in the Navy, whereas it's not necessarily standard fare in other services. Navy does get shit on in general (even when there's no war, there are still hot and heavy deployments, for example), but I do think the perks they get even the field. Of course, I say this from my home office whilst YodaMan is toodling around the ocean...
I totally agree with your post and love the X Files reference too. Just ran across your blog today but this similarly pissed off Navy wife will be back. Thanks for providing a place to candidly vent
Mi venting blog es su venting blog. Or whatever. I don't speak the Spanish. I speak the German, aber ich kann nur uebersetzen, and they don't have any cool mi casa sayings. Mein Haus ist dein Haus just doesn't ring, yanno? ;)
Anyway. Vent away! It's how we roll here.
Isn't getting it up the ass with no reach around just part of military life? You know, like living with a leaking roof they're not going to fix because they're going to tear your house down in another 6 months anyway, so call us every time it rains and that piece of plastic on your kitchen ceiling has collected water so maintenance can come and empty it, and we'll gladly take your full BAH the whole time you're living in such a shithole of a house. I've just learned to exact my revenge in the same passive aggressive way they take it out on us, anytime I can. Being nice takes too much energy anymore when all you get is fucked anyway.
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