SmartBitches SB Sarah Wendell
Here, want to cry? 9 yo surprised by returning soldier father: is.gd/cnW0gU
After a short tweet-convo about the perils of reunion porn, SB Sarah responded thus-like:
SmartBitches SB Sarah Wendell*
- Deployment gremlins. A moment when the one fucking thing in the house the milspouse does not comprehend breaks or starts spewing sparks/water/smoke/random high-decibel noise, and the only way to get it fixed is to shell out some cash we already don't have.
- A PCS. From the point when the movers arrive, preferably catching them in the act of exercising the incompetence or outright maliciousness that's inspired by the shit-tastic contracts the government uses with them.
- A trip to the Military Treatment Facility. Or, pretty please, a trip to the Tricare office in Monterey, California, so the world can see that in the entire city of Monterey, there are only five or six doctors willing to take the hairy-sack-tastic Tricare insurance payments.
- A PCS done while the service member is already on his/her way to the next duty station and unable to complete the required paper work that the milspouse isn't allowed to do in order to move all their shit.
- The tears when we leave behind yet another carefully cultivated support system and yet another tightly knit group of friends.
- The really morale-killing moment during deployment when you're out for a rare night of fun, forget that your spouse is in the middle of a fucking war for five minutes.
- The soul-killing moments when we actually plan our reactions to learning our spouse was killed in action, because what the fuck else are we supposed to do with that reality looming over us?
- The middle-of-the-night screams from the sprog having horrible nightmares in the midst of deployment.
- The sudden behavioral changes the sprogs undergo because Mom or Dad isn't home and WTF is going on/?
- The hell we must traverse to get our sprogs the therapy they need to deal with so much absence.
- How the military culture (including those in charge) treats PTSD - still - and suicide - still - and doesn't even consider spouse suicides.
- The little moments when a chain of command assumes that yon milspouse's job is to be a milspouse, and her (mostly her, as I seriously fucking doubt they treat mil-husbands this way) time is to be spent performing unpaid labor to benefit the command.
- The way we're lumped together in one huge, Republican ass-licking group of automatons by much of the public. And the way liberals are demonized or told by those in the Republican ass-licking camp that when our husbands are killed in action, it'll be our fault b/c we're liberal.
- The first fight after homecoming.
- The big fight that happens right before deployment, even though you've worked so fucktastically hard to get along this time and not stress out this time and not let the impending separation get to you. This time.
- That moment when you realize your own career dreams are motherloving kaput. Gone. Not gonna happen.
- Milspouse camaraderie, banding together, preferably with a frou frou drink.
- The joy at homecoming.
- The joy when we actually getting to take a vacay that isn't sammiched between whirlwind family visits.
- The excitement of something new, for those who still feel that excitement.
- The pride that inevitably comes in spite of the pain of sacrifice.
- An unexpected and well-timed military discount or hook-up from a veteran who remembers what it's like to need that hand.
- The moment when you realize you can't have the career you worked so hard for in college, but HOLY SHIT there are other opportunities. And, if you've hit it on the third Tuesday of a month that starts on a Friday and coincide with the alignment of the moon and Jupiter, you might actually qualify for financial aid that will offset the additional cost of education.
- That really horrible day that completely rushes you from behind, cops a feel, leaves a stain on your pants leg, and steals a twenty from your purse. And then when it's over, the stunning relief when you realize you hit the halfway point of the deployment right about the moment the day smacked you across the face with its dick. Sweet relief!
- The meeting when you learn your sprog's teacher is a milspouse, and her husband is on the same ship. This mean she'll understand completely when the sprog loses his shit a month into deployment. And she'll know exactly how to respond. Motherchucking WIN.
- Traditions. Not Navy traditions. Family traditions. Those little things, usually at holidays, that have become utterly familiar to the sprogs, so when they see them, they respond with bright-faced joy. Those moments are islands of refuge, and they deserve serious camera time.
- Going for a drive with the sole purpose of getting lost, since that's the fastest way of getting to know the town you just moved to and will leave in two years or less. And also how you'll find that amazing little restaurant in the scary alley with the questionable but holy deliciousness.
- The moment you hear your DH is CONUS and no longer subject to IEDs.
- The first time you get combat pay plus separation allowance plus tax-free pay. Awesome. And then blow it on a latte and a manicure. Double awesome.