In which the neo-cons get me all up in the lady bacon.

The current gaggle of honking fuckwits occupying the news these days (aka the contenders for the Republican presidential nomination) have got me pondering my lady bacon in ways I never imagined I could. From visions of Michelle Bachmann deep-throating a corn dog while pontificating on her role as subservient helpmeet to the utter incomprehensible Romney waffle from pro-choice to anti-woman, I wonder at the fate of my amazing twat at the hands of the Republican party, should they win the election next year.

Of course, there are plenty of other things I worry about, aside from my Netherville and the fate of future generations of women-turn-Atwood-handmaidens. Cuz, y'know, I'm pretty sure Margaret was getting her prophecy on regarding our neo-con future when she wrote her amazing pop-lit novel. Ahem. Anyway, though I shake my head in disgust at the entire line of holier-than-thous, I keep going back to the bacon.

Hence, the following rant.

I actually like the idea of smaller government. In many, many ways. Especially as concerns my uterus, which is my fucking business and none of yours. I have not consented to the intrusion of any politician in my ladyparts, so each time one of those fuckers tries to stick his business up my cookie, that is political rape. Also, when the rights of an undifferentiated ball of cells trump my rights, that is a violation of my civil rights.

I hate, hate, hate when rape is thrown around as a means of shock or entertainment, as that minimizes the horror and trauma that should be associated with the word. I hope that says how strongly I feel in equating restriction of reproductive rights with rape.

There are people out there, like my aunt, who desperately want a child, who are devastated when they learn that the fetus has such terrible anomalies that it is completely unviable and will live in agony for as long as it takes to pull in a lung full of air, and then will die. In pain. To force these women to carry to term, to force them to go through the birth experience knowing it will end in tragedy and sorrow, to force them to give life to a full-term baby rather than cut that little soul free before it suffers? That. Is. Rape. And never mind this worst-case scenario. To tell a woman that her health, her psychological well-being, and indeed her life mean nothing next to a ball of cells that is unviable outside of her womb? Also rape. Your business is up in her business. She is the physical manifestation of the Goddess. She is creatrix and live-giver, and to take away her ability to exercise her will is subjugation of power and force that is emotional kissing-kin to physical rape.

You haven't stuck anything physical up their vaginas, but you sure stuck something that didn't belong and wasn't welcome. All as a show of your will, your force, and your power.

So, neo-cons, take your tiny government claims and stuff them up your ass, and when you're done having an assgasm, consider shoving your hypocritical attitudes up there, too. Take everything about your 1% and shove it far and deep.

Ahhh. I feel better. /vent