My husband just taught my two-year-old to say, "The Dude abides."
Big Lebowski reference. Very funny.
I'm trying to laugh. Because it's funny. I'm just having a hard time finding the desire.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Livid.
Remember how YodaMan got orders to Monterey, but the major he wants only starts every six months? Remember how that meant he had to bypass Monterey this fall and take the IA to Afghanistan? Remember how he'd then start Monterey in March?
Guess what Monterey just did.
That's right. That major now starts every three months. He could have bypassed that IA. Done it some other time. You know, like not on the heels of two back-to-back deployments.
I am full of four-letter words that are raging to be released.
Guess what Monterey just did.
That's right. That major now starts every three months. He could have bypassed that IA. Done it some other time. You know, like not on the heels of two back-to-back deployments.
I am full of four-letter words that are raging to be released.
Fare thee well, oh ship of the devil
YodaMan had his farewell tonight. It was, by far, the most interesting hail & farewell I've ever attended. Not because of the hailing or farewelling but because of the, um, enthusiasm expressed by a few people upon meeting me.
I was really thrown for a loop until one of them explained by saying, "Yeah, I'm [Kimba's husband's] roommate."
"Ah," said moi. "I hear he reads my blog. The one in which I bitch endlessly about the Navy."*
His response: "You don't know how many times I almost googled for your blog."
O.o Not sure what to make of that one, but there you have it, folks. Apparently my blog is even more entertaining in the retelling. Who knew?
On to the bitching.... So bless the Admiral's heart (because I think he actually meant it), but he pulled my most unfavoritest comment out about three times tonight. You know, the one about how the family has it so much harder than the guys out there fighting a war or living in close quarters with no privacy and very few sporadic comforts far away from friends, family, and home? And the corollary statement that they couldn't be effective warfighters without the support at home.....
Like I said, he seemed to mean it, and the man has about zero flair for drama, so I took him at face value. But I'm still annoyed that I keep hearing it, especially when there's no walk with the talk. The Navy doesn't truly consider the "home front" worth supporting. I know there are tons of folks who believe we're given fantastic support, but I don't see that. Any benefits or support we get is very clearly by the grace of the service member. Those perks are relayed through the service member, and they are contingent upon the service member signing you up for it or at least being point man. The "perks" are also very inconsistent. So much so, it's usually not worth the effort to get them.
Regardless, I'm thrilled. I've only been this happy to be done with a command once before, and that farewell meant that we'd be hopping a plane out of Bahrain, never to return. Ever.
Unfortunately, being done with the Nimitz is just the start of the next horrible phase of this Navy thing. The really cool thing (and I can't believe there is anything cool or that could be considered cool, but hey! I'll take it where I can get it) is that the admiral told me to contact his YN in DC if any "funny business" happens during the IA. I know I'll never take him up on that (okay, well, I can think of one or two things that might happen when I would take him up on it, but those are pretty damn unlikely to happen, so it's probably a non-issue), but it was very cool of him. I give him massive, huge, amazing points for the offer. Even if it was just lip service, that's hella better smoke up my ass than any other senior officer type has ever blown.
Mad props, Admiral.
In other news, YodaMan, for the first time in his life, did something that was the right thing for his career. He told the admiral about the stupidity with the detailer and the specific degree YodaMan negotiated for. Admiral's going to "take care of it." Can I get a what what?
Oh! Almost forgot. I think I pissed off the COS when COS asked me if I'd ever been in the Navy (thanks to exhausted me totally stepping over my tongue and not being precise enough in a response to one of his questions), and my response was, "Oh, no. I haven't sold my soul."
Yeah, he looked like he wanted to toss me off the Coronado Bay Bridge. But hey. I was honest.
*Hi, J!
I was really thrown for a loop until one of them explained by saying, "Yeah, I'm [Kimba's husband's] roommate."
"Ah," said moi. "I hear he reads my blog. The one in which I bitch endlessly about the Navy."*
His response: "You don't know how many times I almost googled for your blog."
O.o Not sure what to make of that one, but there you have it, folks. Apparently my blog is even more entertaining in the retelling. Who knew?
On to the bitching.... So bless the Admiral's heart (because I think he actually meant it), but he pulled my most unfavoritest comment out about three times tonight. You know, the one about how the family has it so much harder than the guys out there fighting a war or living in close quarters with no privacy and very few sporadic comforts far away from friends, family, and home? And the corollary statement that they couldn't be effective warfighters without the support at home.....
Like I said, he seemed to mean it, and the man has about zero flair for drama, so I took him at face value. But I'm still annoyed that I keep hearing it, especially when there's no walk with the talk. The Navy doesn't truly consider the "home front" worth supporting. I know there are tons of folks who believe we're given fantastic support, but I don't see that. Any benefits or support we get is very clearly by the grace of the service member. Those perks are relayed through the service member, and they are contingent upon the service member signing you up for it or at least being point man. The "perks" are also very inconsistent. So much so, it's usually not worth the effort to get them.
Regardless, I'm thrilled. I've only been this happy to be done with a command once before, and that farewell meant that we'd be hopping a plane out of Bahrain, never to return. Ever.
Unfortunately, being done with the Nimitz is just the start of the next horrible phase of this Navy thing. The really cool thing (and I can't believe there is anything cool or that could be considered cool, but hey! I'll take it where I can get it) is that the admiral told me to contact his YN in DC if any "funny business" happens during the IA. I know I'll never take him up on that (okay, well, I can think of one or two things that might happen when I would take him up on it, but those are pretty damn unlikely to happen, so it's probably a non-issue), but it was very cool of him. I give him massive, huge, amazing points for the offer. Even if it was just lip service, that's hella better smoke up my ass than any other senior officer type has ever blown.
Mad props, Admiral.
In other news, YodaMan, for the first time in his life, did something that was the right thing for his career. He told the admiral about the stupidity with the detailer and the specific degree YodaMan negotiated for. Admiral's going to "take care of it." Can I get a what what?
Oh! Almost forgot. I think I pissed off the COS when COS asked me if I'd ever been in the Navy (thanks to exhausted me totally stepping over my tongue and not being precise enough in a response to one of his questions), and my response was, "Oh, no. I haven't sold my soul."
Yeah, he looked like he wanted to toss me off the Coronado Bay Bridge. But hey. I was honest.
*Hi, J!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Tag, I'm It
Having been tagged by Navy CS I am now compelled to meme.
Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
5. Present an image of marital discord from whatever period or situation you’d like.
My seven facts:
1. I’m a published author. I plan to publish more as soon as I can get someone to agree that my writing is brilliant.
2. I’m afraid of growing up to be one of those old farts who subjects the world to the horrible music of whatever heyday s/he experienced. For example, the spin instructor today who played Billy Joel, Hall & Oates, and ZZ Top, then thought he was throwing us a bone when he busted out the Creed.
3. I <3 nerds. I think a smart guy is a way bigger turn-on than a hot guy.
4. When I was a kid, I flew my uncle’s and my grandfather’s airplanes. I never got a whole flight to myself, but in separate flights, I took off, flew around, and landed (and the landing happened in the taildragger that didn’t have flaps, so I had to slow us down with just throttle, which Wigged. Me. Out. for some reason).
5. I’ve been a Reiki Master for six years now. I’ve considered adding massage or other healing methods to my repertoire, but the cost turns me way off.
6. If I’d had the honor of birthing a daughter, her name would have been Willow Magdalena. I sometimes consider using that name as a nom du plume if one becomes necessary to my career, but I think it might be too clunky for an author name.
7. I have a harem that includes the following men: Maynard James Keenan, Ed Norton, David Duchovny, George Stephanopoulos, Trent Reznor, Jon Stewart, Tobey McGuire, Kevin Spacey, Naveen Andrews, Johnny Depp, and various non-celebs who shall go unnamed. ;)
Seven tags:
I couldn’t do just seven. I’d actually love to see everyone who happens on this blog to consider themselves tagged. Go back to your blog, fill out this meme, then leave a link in the comments here. Let us get to know you. :)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Time to celebrate!
Where is YodaMan?
What is he up to?
Why, he's at PSD, going through the six freaking hour process to check out.
I danced this morning. Danced in my skivvies and tried not to hoot with pleasure and glee. Let's call it a tribute to the Nimitz, akin to me sticking my bare-ass feet on the dashboard as I left Bahrain, soles on display to the whole effing country for tear gassing me, bombing the front gate, threatening me with their laws because I didn't even have the decency of being a Christian, and (though I didn't know it yet) photocopying my passport just in case I wasn't married.
I have as much loathing for the Nimitz as I did for Bahrain, only I actually enjoyed parts of Bahrain. There's been absolutely nothing redeeming about Nimitz. Meeting a few awesomesauce people (whose significant others' are on the Nimitz) was quite coolio, but I won't give the credit for the introduction to that ass-smelling tin can floating off the Coronado coast.
If we didn't have this IA hanging over us in just three weeks, I think I'd be ecstatic right now. As it is, I'm just bracing for impact. The next seven months will suck like nothing has sucked before. And the worst of it is that YodaMan will probably end up on another deploying ship after Monterey. We'll see if I manage to smile and nod when the time comes or if I end up throwing every item of YodaMan's in the yard and telling him not to come back until he's dropped his letter.
Because as wonderful as today is, as much a relief as it is to be rid of the pox that is the Nimitz, nothing will be as sweet as the day his letter is winging its way to Congress, gifting us with sweet, sweet freedom in T-one year and counting....
What is he up to?
Why, he's at PSD, going through the six freaking hour process to check out.
I danced this morning. Danced in my skivvies and tried not to hoot with pleasure and glee. Let's call it a tribute to the Nimitz, akin to me sticking my bare-ass feet on the dashboard as I left Bahrain, soles on display to the whole effing country for tear gassing me, bombing the front gate, threatening me with their laws because I didn't even have the decency of being a Christian, and (though I didn't know it yet) photocopying my passport just in case I wasn't married.
I have as much loathing for the Nimitz as I did for Bahrain, only I actually enjoyed parts of Bahrain. There's been absolutely nothing redeeming about Nimitz. Meeting a few awesomesauce people (whose significant others' are on the Nimitz) was quite coolio, but I won't give the credit for the introduction to that ass-smelling tin can floating off the Coronado coast.
If we didn't have this IA hanging over us in just three weeks, I think I'd be ecstatic right now. As it is, I'm just bracing for impact. The next seven months will suck like nothing has sucked before. And the worst of it is that YodaMan will probably end up on another deploying ship after Monterey. We'll see if I manage to smile and nod when the time comes or if I end up throwing every item of YodaMan's in the yard and telling him not to come back until he's dropped his letter.
Because as wonderful as today is, as much a relief as it is to be rid of the pox that is the Nimitz, nothing will be as sweet as the day his letter is winging its way to Congress, gifting us with sweet, sweet freedom in T-one year and counting....
HR 6070 - MilSpouse Relief Act!!!
Okay, y'all. Get thee to your e-mail and write to your representative to support HR 6070. The Military Spouse Relief Act is set to give us the same domiciling ability our service member has. So every time we move, we don't have to get a new driver's license, register the cars, register to vote, etc. I didn't read the whole thing, but it looks like we can choose to hop on board with whatever state our service member spouse is domiciled.
That. Would. Rock. Pass it now! Now, I say!!!
That. Would. Rock. Pass it now! Now, I say!!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Because I don't believe it can be said often enough...
I. Hate. The Navy.
If I had the Navy's cell number, I'd do a text message break up. Alanis Morissette, indeed. Deck.
Srsly.
My current list of Why I Hate the Navy:
1. YodaMan is there until at least 9pm tonight. I know, I shouldn't bitch. After all, he got sent home almost a month before the ship came back. Never mind he didn't get any days off but the Friday he got here. Never mind his 26 hour flight left him so exhausted, he was at best marginally functional the whole weekend. Never mind he's come home frustrated and stressed every day from the task he had (the one that brought him home early). Never mind he's leaving soon for FUCKING AFGHANISTAN and is going from 4 weeks of leave between orders to 2 weeks.
2. We didn't want Monterey. Monterey was so far down the list of desired PCS locations that Adak, AK, and COMUSNAVCENT Bahrain came before it. Regardless of our lack of desire and the actual pushback on Monterey, LT HappyToScrewYouSir has informed YodaMan that the IA orders are a means of "paying dues" in order to enjoy those Monterey orders. Oh, and for the eighty-second time, what program did you think you were going to study?
3. YodaMan will have another long night tomorrow. Oh, did I need to get ready for residency? :scoff: Did I need to finish a manuscript lickety quick? :scoff: I guess I'm paying for the sitter to come over again.
4. I'm tired of moving. I thought we were going to be here for at least 5 years. Today, I read an article about a local developer who is offering a buy-one-get-one-free deal - purchase one of his $1.6M houses just down the road a ways, and you get one of the $400k houses just down the road a ways for free. /yurk. We're so screwed.
5. I'm still burned about the pieces du poopoo who got promotions while YodaMan busts his ass and loses lineal numbers over administrative bollocks and pre-adolescent politicking.
6. I looked up jobs my husband is qualified for in the civilian world. $160k minimum. MINIMUM. How much is he making? Oh, wait. It's not about the money. It's about sacrificing everything (including, apparently, stability and money) for god (not mine, though) and country.
ARGH!!!
Dear Navy,
You're a deck. Get bent.
Love,
Snarky
ps i want 2 brake up
If I had the Navy's cell number, I'd do a text message break up. Alanis Morissette, indeed. Deck.
Srsly.
My current list of Why I Hate the Navy:
1. YodaMan is there until at least 9pm tonight. I know, I shouldn't bitch. After all, he got sent home almost a month before the ship came back. Never mind he didn't get any days off but the Friday he got here. Never mind his 26 hour flight left him so exhausted, he was at best marginally functional the whole weekend. Never mind he's come home frustrated and stressed every day from the task he had (the one that brought him home early). Never mind he's leaving soon for FUCKING AFGHANISTAN and is going from 4 weeks of leave between orders to 2 weeks.
2. We didn't want Monterey. Monterey was so far down the list of desired PCS locations that Adak, AK, and COMUSNAVCENT Bahrain came before it. Regardless of our lack of desire and the actual pushback on Monterey, LT HappyToScrewYouSir has informed YodaMan that the IA orders are a means of "paying dues" in order to enjoy those Monterey orders. Oh, and for the eighty-second time, what program did you think you were going to study?
3. YodaMan will have another long night tomorrow. Oh, did I need to get ready for residency? :scoff: Did I need to finish a manuscript lickety quick? :scoff: I guess I'm paying for the sitter to come over again.
4. I'm tired of moving. I thought we were going to be here for at least 5 years. Today, I read an article about a local developer who is offering a buy-one-get-one-free deal - purchase one of his $1.6M houses just down the road a ways, and you get one of the $400k houses just down the road a ways for free. /yurk. We're so screwed.
5. I'm still burned about the pieces du poopoo who got promotions while YodaMan busts his ass and loses lineal numbers over administrative bollocks and pre-adolescent politicking.
6. I looked up jobs my husband is qualified for in the civilian world. $160k minimum. MINIMUM. How much is he making? Oh, wait. It's not about the money. It's about sacrificing everything (including, apparently, stability and money) for god (not mine, though) and country.
ARGH!!!
Dear Navy,
You're a deck. Get bent.
Love,
Snarky
ps i want 2 brake up
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