There was a call out recently on the Books of Face, asking for opposing decisions on mil-bloggers' responses to this ISIL threat*. I jokingly responded that I'd offer my view, but it would come with...well, my brand of snark, and I know other, more respectable blogs aren't down with the f-bombs and the threats of cuntpunting. But then I thought...why not offer my opinion on my own damned blog? So here's my opinion: ISIL might be media- and social media-savvy, they are definitely evil, and they can most definitely go fuck themselves so hard, they do that Poltergeist house thing straight into another dimension.
This, only with ISIL and their own tiny dicks. (Relevant portion at 2:40)
ISIL is why Muslims can't have nice things. Well, ISIL and what happens when tiny minds generalize an entire religion's adherants based on the actions of a few. But ISIL is the source of this, and I think they're doing it on purpose. I think they're trying to incite an all-out holy war. I think they want Westerners so scared of what they might do--based on a few threats their script kiddies managed to drum up on unclassified computer systems--that our knee jerk reaction is to follow up with a might-as-well-be or actually-is religious war. Their actions are so inhuman, so despicable, so contrary to everything a moral society elevates as good and right, that they are over the top.
They want us to respond. They want us scared.
So this is my message to ISIL:
I'm not scared. Fuck you and your egocentrism. Fuck you and your blatant disregard for life and dignity and freedom. Fuck you and your insipid script kiddies.
You remind me of this story by Clive Barker called "Rawhead Rex." It's about this monster in a forbidden field who rises when the stone holding him captive is moved. So he runs around this town, trying to eat as many people as he can (especially the babies because his personal mantra is apparently Eat All Teh Baybeez), but he's scared shitless of menstruating women. He smells that menstrual blood, and he's fucking out of there like a vagina dentata monster is fast on his heels. Mind, he also kidnaps some women and ties them up in the woods and rapes them so they have his little monster babies (and I bet he eats them, but only if he can get close enough given the immense fear he has of vaginas doing what they were built to do). At the end, he's undone by a mother goddess figurine, a Venus of Willendorf-style stone idol. His fear paralyzes him, and he's trapped under the stone in the field once more.
He and his baby-eating are driven by fear. He's walking man-junk with a tiny peen. So he tortures the town and eats all the things (except for chicks on the rag--one benefit of dealing with menses, at least), but he is a fear-driven beast at heart, and he rages and RAWRs and swings his peen around to make a statement.
But he is pathetic, and he isn't scary. He is a mockery to monsters everywhere (sorry, Mr. Barker, but it's sadly true; love the Yattering, though!), and he makes it easy to point and laugh as he RAWRs around with his peen-head and his peen-body and his powerless T-rex flailing and mindless nomnomnomallthebaybeez murder. He's like Wolverine, only Wolverpeen, with the claws but also the ridiculously singular focus and not even on the hotness radar.
You are also pathetic. You are easy to mock because you are a mockery and not real Muslims. You are powerless and prone to T-rex flailing, and though that flailing is like dangerous and has consequences for the unfortunate people who get in your way, it is infantile. You will be destroyed by your own nature. It might take time, but that just gives you more opportunity to dig your hole in the field deeper.
And in the meantime, I refuse to be scared because you are too pathetic to fear. I will continue to identify myself online--both on this anonymous blog and in my IRL accounts--as a milspouse because fuck you, fuck your walking man-junk flailing, fuck your ignorance, fuck your fear, fuck your posturing, fuck your laughable wannabe-hacker script kiddies, and fuck your disgusting lack of humanity.
PS Fuck you some more.
PPS I'm sculpting a stone vagina dentata just for you. And then I'mma hex it. May all your dicks rot off, you impotent cockwits.
* They are not ISIS. Isis is a fierce and powerful mother goddess who protects and heals. That this acronym uses her name is a fucking travesty, and I refuse to do it. They are ISIL. Evil ISIL.